Nuturing Godly Friendships

I don’t know about you, but I do not thrive with surface level friendships. In fact, on my first day of work at Rock Solid Families, I shared with a new co-worker about the hard season my family was walking through, only to find out that she could relate! Little did she know, I had prayed on my way to work that God would show up that day to help me feel comfortable and less nervous; I knew this was the answer to that prayer. 

More times than not, surface-level friendships are what most friendships look like in our world today. As we all know, schedules can be too crammed full while losing sight of creating intentionality in relationships. I see this often while working with families, especially families with several kids who are not going by the 1:1:1 rule (1 sport per child per season). We get it…  You’re running to several sporting events, clubs, church activities, etc. However, we believe and know that God calls us to have deeper friendships, and Jesus portrayed this well during his time on Earth. Proverbs 27:17 reminds us, "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." Let’s explore what makes a friendship truly Godly and how to cultivate these Christ-centered connections.

I’m sure that as some of you are reading this, you are low-key panicking because you know that on the other side of having deeper friendships is the requirement for you to be vulnerable. I hear you, and I know that this is very uncomfortable for you, or may even bring up memories of bad friendships. However, I would really like to know, were your friendships created with healthy boundaries as well as a mutual faith between you and your friend in the first place? If it were a bad relationship, I would guess not.

The Foundation of a Godly Friendship:

A godly friendship starts with a shared faith in Christ. When two people are both committed to loving and following Jesus, their relationship naturally reflects His love. In 1 Thessalonians 5:11, Paul encourages believers to "encourage one another and build each other up." A Christ-centered friendship uplifts, supports, and helps both individuals grow spiritually. You will be able to tell whether the friendship lines up with this verse by pausing, reflecting on your conversations, and noticing what you were talking about. Are you gossiping or are you pointing each other to Christ? Are you talking about worldly temptations or are you talking about accountability for each other? I will challenge you and say that if you are finding yourself in the negatives of those questions, then you fully know that this doesn’t feel great or may not be a long-term friendship. What will your conversations be about when you have gossiped about everything or lived such a worldly life that you are completely depleted? There is a whole new world out there on the other side of your biggest fears, so let’s get started! 

Characteristics of a Godly Friendship

• Love and Sacrifice: True friends love selflessly, as Christ loves us (John 15:13).

• Honesty and Accountability: A godly friend tells the truth in love, even when it’s hard (Ephesians 4:15).

• Encouragement: They lift you up when you’re weary and remind you of God’s promises (Hebrews 10:24-25).

• Forgiveness: As Christ forgives us, godly friends extend grace and mercy (Colossians 3:13).

I can remember a friendship that I had found myself in previously. The friendship could easily be captured in one word - CODEPENDENT. We did everything together. If one was sad, the other carried that heaviness and always showed up. There wasn’t much room for God in the friendship, other relationships, or even individual time, because we fully believed that in order to be a good friend, we had to prove it 24/7. How exhausting, right?. As life changed, it was an uncomfortable realization that I was prioritizing my friend over my husband, family, etc. Are you in this season with a friend?. Like I always tell my clients, you are in a good place when you realize this and want to do something different for your life! 

How You Can Cultivate Godly Friendships:

• Pray for the Right Friends: Ask God to bring the right people into your life — those who will draw you closer to Him.

• Be a Godly Friend: Focus on being a blessing to others rather than seeking what you can gain.

• Engage in Faith-Based Activities: Join small groups, Bible studies, or church ministries to meet like-minded believers.

• Invest Time and Effort: Meaningful friendships require intentional time together and vulnerability.

• Reflect: Reflect on the characteristics needed in a Godly friendship that were mentioned above. Do you and your friends obtain these?

Godly friendships are worth pursuing and nurturing. They bring joy, strength, and spiritual growth, reflecting God’s design for community. I would venture to guess that you have someone in your mind who you have always wanted to be in community with, but have felt nervous about approaching - now is your time! Reach out to them, the worst thing that could happen is the timing isn’t right for the other person, in which case I encourage you to try again! God will show you friendships that you should start, or even a small group at church that you should join. I vividly remember the day I was going to a small group where I did not know anyone. I drove the hour to get there, and literally almost turned around and went home. However, I knew very clearly that God told me to go. Long story short, this was a group of friends that I needed in my “single season” of life. While these people are not in my closest group anymore, they were definitely the people that God meant for me in that season of life.

I pray today that you can step into friendships that are fuller, deeper, and more life-giving than where you are at now; you have nothing to lose!

www.rocksolidfamilies.org

Being Physically Present With Our Children

In today’s fast-paced world, it’s so easy to get caught up in work, responsibilities, and even digital distractions. But as parents, one of the greatest gifts we can give our children is our presence, not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually. There are more times than not where I personally am juggling where to spend my time when the house needs to be cleaned and my daughter wants to play; it’s a struggle!

Recently, my church has been discussing the importance of taking a break from our phones. This has been eye-opening to see how it has replaced different times where I could be physically present with my family versus being on my phone “doom scrolling”, shopping, creating grocery orders, etc. 

Throughout His ministry, Jesus was fully present with those around Him. Whether He was healing the sick, teaching His disciples, or welcoming children into His arms, He gave His undivided attention to the people He loved (Mark 10:14). As parents, we are called to reflect this same love and attentiveness to our children.

Why Physical Presence Matters

It Communicates Love – Our presence reassures our children that they are valued. Just as God promises, “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5), we too must strive to be a steady, present force in our kids’ lives.

It Builds Security and Trust – Kids feel safe when they know their parents are available to them. Being present during their highs and lows strengthens the parent-child bond and fosters trust.

It Creates Lasting Memories – Childhood passes quickly. The moments we spend playing, laughing, listening, and praying together are the ones our children will remember the most.

I recently felt a “God nudge” when I was in the midst of hurrying my daughter along from looking at something, so in return, I could get to what I wanted to do. This brought a vulnerable conversation with my husband where I could see how I do this more often than not. I’d venture to say that I am not the only parent who struggles with this at times. Once again, it can be hard to juggle responsibilities.

Ways to Be More Present

1. Limit Distractions – Put away the phone, turn off the TV, and give your full attention to your child when they’re talking to you.

2. Prioritize Face-to-Face Time – Family meals, bedtime routines, and spontaneous playtime are all opportunities to be present.

3. Listen with Intentionality – James 1:19 reminds us to be “quick to listen, slow to speak.” Give your kids space to express themselves, knowing they have your full attention.

4. Make Time for Spiritual Growth – Pray together, read Bible stories, and model a life centered on Christ. Your presence in their faith journey will shape their relationship with God.

We recently started prioritizing eating our meals together at our dining room table (which was only used for when guests came over). Previously, we all sat at our kitchen counter, all lined up in a row. This prohibits face-to-face conversations. Now we get to be more physically present with each other, and to make it more special, we light candles at the table every night. It is all about baby steps. What baby step can you take to start being more physically present with the children in your life, your own or friends, family members or neighbors?

Proverbs 22:6 (NIV)

"Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it."  -  This requires us to be intentional, slow down, and look for the teachable moments. 

www.rocksolidfamilies.org

Peace over Perfection at Christmas Time

As you’re reading this blog, it could be at a time when you are trying to relax, laying in bed, or even when you’re “doom scrolling”/zoning out on your phone to procrastinate on all of the responsibilities that are being thrown at you as you prepare for Christmas. If you relate to this you might be in a position where you are in the weeds of the details and logistics of planning for Christmas. But is this the true meaning of Christmas? If we are blatantly honest with ourselves, the meaning of Christmas isn’t about all of the fluffy extras: gifts, perfect home decor, best outfit, everyone getting along… you see where I’m going with this. It is about reflecting and meditating on the miracle of Jesus coming to us in the flesh in a manger to showcase his love for us. Jesus’ birth fulfilled God’s promise of a Messiah, bringing hope, peace, and joy to a broken world. His arrival marked the beginning of God’s plan to reconcile us to Himself through His life, death, and resurrection! I’m not saying that the fluffy extras are bad, but they should not be what is the driving factor for you in celebrating Christmas.

Let go of perfection:

I recently read a great way to describe the pressure that the world puts on us as we prepare for Christmas; to make everything perfect. However, if we pause and remember why we celebrate Christmas in the first place we are reminded that Jesus entered our imperfect world in a humble stable, not a five-star inn. If your tree is lopsided or the cookies burn, let it be a reminder that God’s grace meets us in our imperfections.

Consider the story of Martha and Mary in Luke 10:38-42. While Martha was distracted by preparations, Mary chose to sit at Jesus' feet and listen to Him. Jesus gently reminded Martha that Mary had chosen what was better. This story teaches us that it’s more important to focus on Christ’s presence than on perfect appearances.

Healthy Boundaries this Christmas:

Christmas is also a time to be intentional about how you spend your time. It’s important to ask yourself, are you able to spend time with God if you are running around to all of the places, possibly out of guilt? Or maybe you find yourself in situations feeling obligated to be there because you do not want to hurt someone’s feelings. Holidays can be a little tricky as so many people are usually involved. However, I want to remind you that at the end of the day, YOU are responsible for your feelings, behaviors, and attitudes, NOT for others. Of course, you should still care for others, BUT you should not sacrifice your boundaries, your peace, and your own time in the midst of caring for others. 

As you navigate the Christmas season, remember that peace isn’t found in perfectly executed plans but in the presence of Christ. By keeping your eyes on Him, you can experience a Christmas filled with peace and joy that only He can provide. Let this be the year you truly embrace this! You are the only one in control of what you say yes and no to!

www.Rocksolidfamilies.org

Striving For Identity in Christ Verses Identity in This World

Identity is one thing that I think we all wrestle with at some point in our lives. Everywhere we turn people have opinions on what we are doing or the world is telling us how we should be doing something. Don’t even get me started on finding identity in the world based on what people say/think about you, that’s a whole other beast. What a defeating mountain we constantly climb. Over the past year, I have started surrounding myself with a community of women where we press into learning what God says our identity is. This is something that needs to be at the forefront of our minds. I struggle with this daily.

If I were to ask you how you would describe yourself in three words, what would it be? Would it be related to acts that you have done? Right out of the gate, we are trained to turn to how the world defines us. Next time you introduce yourself to someone, notice that you say your name and then you say what your occupation is. One thing that I have discovered about myself over the past year through vulnerable conversations with my family/friends is that I was in a place where what people thought of me and or compliments they gave me outweighed what God has always said about me. For me, I struggle with keeping how God defines me at the front of my mind because it's not outwardly spoken to me every day, or so I thought. 

What if the question we are asking ourselves daily is “Who does God say that I am?” God says that we are: Righteous, Made New, Freely Forgiven, Chosen, and Deeply Loved. What an introduction that would be next time you meet someone new to say your name and then follow by who God says you are. That’s just not something we see very often. I struggled with believing and accepting in my heart how God defines me because I was immediately seeking outward approval and not declaring Bible verses where God says this to us. Maybe you can relate. You go to work and put in so much effort and then feel like you’re on top of the world when someone notices. Eventually, that fuels the fire and you keep working so hard until you have lost a sense of who you are. I’m not saying to not work hard and to not do your job, I’m challenging you to do these things but with your heart in the place of doing it for no other reason than God giving you the ability to use your God-given gifts in a meaningful way. That’s right, I did not say to do it to seek approval and praise. 

I believe that the more we fall into how the world defines us, the more we are wiring our brains to believe this about ourselves. Before we know it, our autobiography is made up of words that the world has chosen for us or what our coworkers have to say about us. This is a dangerous place to fall into. I would love for you to deep dive into this in your life right now. Examine what God says about you to be true and rest in it. This can be so radical in your life to take back the identity that Christ has always said over your life. I recently went through a bible study called “Father’s House” and the writers say it best by stating, “It is not about how good I am, but it’s about how good my God is.”

Ephesians 2:10 “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” 

Friends, I’m permitting you to relax and stop striving. That’s right I said to stop striving. Stop striving for everyone else’s words of affirmation for you. Stop striving for your identity to be made up in this world. Rest in the fact of what God says about you. 

1 Peter 2:9 “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.”

I challenge you this week to identify a Bible verse that talks about your identity and memorize it. Write it down and hang it up in your house or car. Speak this over yourself multiple times a day. We have to run to our identity in Christ and not run to the world to identify us.

Want to dive deeper into this topic, check out episode # 313 of the Rock Solid Families “Girl Power Half Hour” Podcast where Bridgitte, Jenna, and Linda dive into staying true to your identity in Christ and not giving into the temptations of the world around us. (Lulu Lemon, four eyes, social media trends…. they talk about it all!)

For additional content regarding faith, family, fitness, and everything in between, listen to the Rock Solid Families podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or YouTube, or follow Rock Solid Families on Facebook & Instagram.

www.rocksolidfamilies.org

Peace That Surpasses All Understanding

I think it is easy to say that we have all found ourselves in the midst of a season where we are feeling like we are stuck or just waiting on God to move. Singleness, Infertility, Cancer Diagnosis, and the list can go on and on. 

All of us go about our days carrying something, but what do we do when life gets heavy?

Well I can tell you from personal experience that sitting in it, sulking around, thinking “woe is me”, has not been the best option for me. It never leads me to feel filled with joy from God or even be thankful for what is right in front of me. I’m sure you can relate. It’s often easier to just sit on the couch and google things to hopefully convince you that you will be okay. Even worse, maybe you scroll on your phone through social media to get lost in everyone else’s life so you don’t have to deal with yours. Man, I hate that Satan knows just how to be a thorn in our side. It’s exhausting, but what if we are just not putting our eyes on the right prize or standing in the right posture? When I find myself in these moments, I can promise you one thing.  My posture and my eyes are not set on God and his truth.

Fear, doubt, and shame are not adjectives or emotions that are from God or emotions he wants us to feel. Instead, these are always the emotions I feel when I choose the actions I mentioned above. 

Something that has been so powerful to me lately is just pausing, sitting in quiet without any distractions, and asking God, “Where are you in this room with me?” “What are you trying to tell me right now”. This was a new practice that was introduced to me a few years ago. God wants to meet us where we are at.  He wants us to fall on him.  He wants us to run to him and not our phones or devices. 

Powerful Verses to Meditate on

Philippians 4:4 “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 

These next verses are so powerful:

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is notable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or see in me - put into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. 

Growing in Him

You will notice that not once did God say to run to your phone, run to social media, run to google. He said to spend time with HIM.  Learn and grow in HIM. Be in a community with people who are like HIM. We cannot keep living the ways of this world where we take everything into our own hands. The Bible says when we come to know Jesus we must die to ourselves. (Luke 9:24) If this feels too hard to do, then please put boundaries in place. For example, invite some accountability partners into your life or limit your time on social media. I know for me a lot of time social media takes me to an unhealthy place. I literally feel my heart start racing the second I view a reel, and I believe I’m not the only one who feels this way. We have to step back and run to Jesus! We have to choose to THINK about the things that God teaches us instead of what the world is showing us. When we step into this way of thinking, strongholds WILL break. I’ve seen it happen!  Anxiety or Depression does NOT have to define us. Let God do that!

Walking It Out:

• Take the time to memorize the verses in Philippians 4:8-9 and the peace and promises God has for us.

• Make the effort to put some healthy boundaries into place this week to move closer to the life God has planned for you. 

• Take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ. Memorize 2 Corinthians 10:5. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.  It will help you fix your eyes on God and not on your own worries and control.

Put away the distractions of the day. Carve out a few moments and listen to the words of this song, and let the Lord speak to you.  I Speak Jesus by Charity Gayle and Steven Musso

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